She had opened the door and in the matter of seconds he could see the contempt on her face. He didn’t blame her, after all he did pick on her wounds, even though it was unintentional. He hadn’t known what had overcome him, memories of Hannah or the memories of the pain when his wings were ripped from him. And to see someone redeemed from their mistake, it was a shock. But it was a bigger shock to feel envious towards her, it was such a pathetically human thing to do. Mateo wanted to set it right.
Of course he had realized that a woman like her, who had been through so much and is still dragging those retched memories with her, of course she’d have her defenses high. Why, wouldn’t he do the same? But looking at her here, now, he could see something was off. Something was different about her demeanor, even though her words were still sharp, but it sounded like she was making an effort. He wanted to ask if she okay, but Mateo knew his questions would be mistaken for his pity and that would be disastrous for his purpose right now.
So he took a deep breath and put his hands up in a surrender gesture. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk to me, ” he said, and a little smile played upon his lips, “and I don’t blame you for that. But I’m here to , well, I’m here to apologize for the other day. It was my own memories and mistakes clouding my train of thoughts. Redemption is never a gift, it is something you have to work very hard on, and something you have to want with all your being, and you earning it speaks volumes about you.”
He looked at her now, facing her completely, letting her see that what he was saying was as genuine as it could be. “My words were harsh and a displacement of my own anger at something I did a long time ago. You shouldn’t have had to hear it, I shouldn’t have hurt a human like that.”
He sighed, his eyes cast down for a moment, before he looked at her again. “Now if you still hate my guts, that is totally understandable. But if there is a sliver of chance of me redeeming myself in your eyes, I would like to take it.”
Mateo was the last person she needed to see that day, but still, his presence brought peace. That was the shitty side of all angels— and even though he was no longer one, he still held some grace, one that wasn’t related to Heaven, but that was his own. As to try and make his words matter less, Stephanie kept her gaze on the street behind him as he talked, but still payed attention to everything he said; looking was just too much, because you can fake everything. You can fake the meaning behind what you say, you can fake your emotions, you can fake your past and your future, but you can’t fight the look in your eyes. And surely she couldn’t compete with someone who was used to seeing lies with a certain frequency.
“I don’t mind talking to you,” she said, like a teenager who was being forced to meet her great grandfather and was trying to keep her cool while he went on and on about how he remembers when she was just a baby. “I just mind that you don’t know when to stop talking, but maybe I can help with that by cutting your—” She stopped herself by taking a deep breath and bringing her hands to her hips. Being nice was hard, that much she knew, but making amends was even harder when you didn’t want to let go of your personality and the point that you’re trying to make. Relaxing a little, Stephanie opened the door completely and gestured for Mateo to come inside. “Ignore the blood on the couch. It’s a long story.” She tried keeping quiet, but instead, turned around at once and corrected herself, “No, actually, it’s not. I didn’t hurt anyone, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not throwing my chance away, I’m not going to hell, I’m not living in sin.”
With a deep breath, she looked at the ceiling, as to avoid his gaze again. “Daniel, he’s a hunter. It went wrong, and he was bleeding, and I made it stop.” For some reason, she sounded angry, as if she didn’t want to admit that. That was the thing about Stephanie Kimble; she wanted no one but God to know she was good, and no one but Lucifer to know she was against him. When the fallen mentioned forgiveness, she didn’t think twice. Stephanie closed the door behind her and said, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” And for the first time since he got there, she looked at him.
“Matthew 6:14-15. And your name is just the Spanish version of that. It would be stupid of me not to forgive you. And if you have noticed anything about me, I’m pretty sure it’s that I’m not stupid.” She nodded a couple of times, then laughed lightly. Her chest still ached, but this conversation made it all slightly better; a distraction, before it all came crashing down on her again. “Oh, I still hate you. Not your guts, though, mostly that ridiculous haircut.”
I’d love to see it. You want to go to…Chicago? Have you ever been to the United States?
I… yeah. I didn’t know you were from Chicago. What do you think I am, a cave woman? Of course I have, I got sent to Las Vegas once, that’s where I met Abe and Ashton. I worked there for over 60 years.
I’ll go there if you want to go as well. I mean, there’s no need to make you do something if you feel uncomfortable. It’s not Disney World? Well fuck. I really wanted a picture with Minnie Mouse.
Well, Why not? I’ll show you the Round Church, it was my favourite place growing up. Yeah, a church was my favourite place. Shocking, I know. It’s a pretty boring town. I want to visit yours, too.
And how did the priest take to this information?
I just can’t believe that people still believe in demonic posessions. As far as I know that’s considered tasteless by most demons, like an easy way out.
Ah, you know priests. He didn’t get the sex joke. Does that even exist? I’ve never seen it happen, at least. It’s not like they can’t get bodies of their own.
I’m actually in a good mood for once. I guess it has something to do with my new priest neighbour. It’s the second time he’s offered me an exorcism just this week.
Nah, I think we can find plenty of uses for that wine. And I agree with you, even though that image is fucking disturbing. Thanks.
Well, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give you something to haunt you at night. I have something for you, by the way. It’s not really a gift, more like something I want you to see, but you can keep it if you want. It’s really not a big deal but yeah. Also, I was thinking about what you said. We didn’t do anything on my birthday because I didn’t want to, so if you want to visit my hometown while we’re at it… I wouldn’t mind. But it’s not Disney World.
“So no, I don’t think we’ll have any real turtles striking deals to be Hollywood stars.”
to open up my favorite bottle of Scotch. I mean, who can go wrong with that?
So I guess I can throw the bottle of wine I was saving out the window? It’s a special day, today. 29 years ago today the asshole you have for a father staked your mum in the vagina, and that’s why you’re here. Only good thing he’s ever done, if you ask me.
And you’re welcome for the mental images. Happy birthday.
ooc. I’m really really sorry for not being around recently. I’m not really okay at the moment and I guess I just need some time for myself… but I’ll try to catch up on things and yeah.
Don’t say the same crap as if you have any idea. You’re pissed, fine, but don’t belittle me Steph. I ran because I had to, I had a problem and I dealt with it…on my own. I figured it’d be far too complicated if I stayed around here - if he killed me, he would start working his way through the others. And if I killed him or eventually someone else did, well your bestie might have found out and then World War III would erupt. So I tried to get him as far away as possible. This wasn’t me being selfish, I was trying to be helpful.
A problem? You have a problem, and it doesn’t even occur to you to come to your friend to talk about it? Start getting used to the idea of people actually caring about where you are, Scarlett. Your mother might not give a shit that you left and never came back, but I do. I was ready to start interrogating every vampire hunter out there to find out if any of them had touched you.